Scenario #4

Ugh. I didn’t take into account what could obviously be happening: I misunderstood the author when she said she “overhauled” the novel about the idiot writer.

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From: Author
Sent: Monday, January 21, 2013 2:59 PM
Subject: THE BOOK

Hi

Mostly I got rid of the similes the publisher complained about.  I did manage to rewrite a couple of them, so they’re not completely gone.  But I got rid of most of them.

I thought I did tell you this before.

love,

[Author]

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Oh, duh! Everyone should reject the editor’s suggestions, get dropped by the publisher, make the changes, and then frantically email the publisher until one receives a second rejection. What no one should ever do is listen to me when I suggest that one ought to focus on the writing, dig deep, think long about the story one wants to tell, and focus on the writing. Dear Author obviously got it right by desperately seeking out her former publisher. But that’s not what I told her...

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Hi,

When you said “overhaul,” I thought you had made one really massive change rather than lots of little changes. I thought the change would be something completely from your own head.

But nothing has changed, and you still have unrealistic expectations for the publishing process.

I don’t think you should be trying to publish with Sunbury. If they had good editors, then you would not have been asked to drop “jarring similes.” The character should use jarring similes. If she were a flawless writer, she wouldn’t be writing that journal. She is a bad writer, and so her journal should be kind of bad. It should get better as the story moves along because the longer she stays home to practice writing, the better she should become.

But that would be an overhaul of the book. Your writer should be at home practicing writing. She should not be bellyaching that her “w” key is stuck or that she hasn’t heard from anyone. The same way she is supposed to be becoming a better person because she is getting her thoughts straight. I mean, sitting around complaining, complaining, complaining, and then saying, “Oh, I shouldn’t think that! Thank you, Universe!” is not really a journey to enlightenment.

But those are the things that should have been taken into consideration way back.

To recap: Sunbury is bad. They send newsletters about how overworked they are. They ask for dumb changes. They are bad. Do not beg to work with people who are bad at what they do.

Love,
[Me]


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Dear Author is never going to listen to any of what I’m saying. She will hear that I am not sympathetic and I am not telling her that she has a huge success on her hands. That’s all she wants to hear. But, as I’ve told her many times, she’s not going to make a bajillion dollars publishing one novel. Call me crazy. I refuse to tell her that just to make her feel better after going crazy on a publisher.