Not So Fast

Hello,

You seem to be incredibly impatient. Didn't Sunbury tell you to wait a year before resubmitting? It seems like you only waited three months. And you "rewrote" the novel? Even though a different publisher has it?

[This is where I wanted to bring up how she harassed her Hollywood agent to the point that the agent cried mercy and dropped Dear Author as a client. But then I thought that would just be salt in the wound. The ridiculous, ridiculous self-inflicted wound. She's like a some dumb kid drunk-dialing an ex or compulsively checking dating sites to see what else might be out there. But I didn't say any of that. There were only two paragraphs in my reply.]

Sorry things aren't moving fast enough for you.

Love,
[me]

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From: Author
Sent: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 3:09 PM
Subject: PUBLISHING NEWS

Hi

Well, I have some big news.  About six or seven weeks ago I wrote to my first publisher.  I told him I rewrote my novel and I asked him to reconsider my submission.  He forced me to complete a book proposal.  I mailed the proposal back to him.  Then I heard nothing from him.  I wrote to him, then his wife, a couple times and asked what was going on.  They never bothered to respond.

Yesterday I decided to send him a new message, since it had a been over a month since the last time I wrote.  Today I got a reply.  He doesn't want to publish my book because it he considers it to be humor and humor doesn't sell well.  

Nice of him to finally let me know what's going on.  Meanwhile, I'm thinking my second publisher should be sending me edits soon, and I will end up getting my book published much faster than if I went back to the first publisher.

This is all my news.  I couldn't tell you about it Sunday, because I had no idea what the first publisher was thinking.  Of course, now I'm hoping the first publisher is very sorry when he says I have a big hit with this book.

Stay happy,

[Author]