Describing the Book (The Back Cover)

I realize by now that if someone were to stumble across this blog, she might think that "Problem 1" and so on is a reference to what I think is wrong with your novel. But really, I'm only trying to address the problems you outline in your own description on the back of the book. *sigh* The back of the book is its own calamity.

In this first novel, [author] tells a tender, sensitive tale about a dysfunctional family facing a variety of problems. The biggest problem involves the main characters, sisters Angela and Bev. They are taking care of their elderly, bedridden mother. Angela wants Mama moved to a nursing center. Bev wants her to stay at home where she can care for Mama and pursue a passion for positive thinking. The sisters fight about this problem all the time. Set in the posh town of La Greer Park, Angela works as a wedding coordinator. She has problems with her own marriage, since she suspects her husband has cheated and this is what makes her move in with Mama and Bev. Add to this relationships with teenaged children that don't always please Angela. It's a novel that will be relished by anyone taking care of an elderly parent, as well as anyone facing divorce. It's a timely novel with many twists and turns that force a person to think long and hard about the value of marriage and family. This story is told with a unique voice that will be remembered well after the final page is reached. It's a story that will teach a valuable lesson about love and what we all need to know to be successful at it.

Um... What's this book about?

Is this the description you've been sending to agents? And we're supposed to be surprised you had to self-publish?


Okay, okay. I said I wanted to be able to help someone else avoid the same pitfalls if possible. So, here we go... The first sentence is ridiculous. Not only because you use "tender, sensitive tale" like this is a parody of a back cover, but also because you seem to have so little grasp on what this story is about that you simply say they are "facing a variety of problems."


The next sentence—"The biggest problem involves the main characters..."—sounds like it was taken from a third grade book report.


At this point, it should be clear that the entire description needs to be rewritten. You are trying to sell this book. Rather than tell us you are a masterful writer, write a real summary in that unique voice you claim to have. If you want sentences that rave about who will relish this story and how memorable your writing is, then find a reviewer.


Oh my god. Does it actually say "many twists and turns"? That's false advertising.


Before you posted this description online, before I received my copy, I knew this book was going to be outdated. It annoys me to no end that you claim this is a "timely" novel.


"It's a timely novel with many twists and turns that force a person to think long and hard about the value of marriage and family."


I don't want to think long and hard about a novel I'm reading for entertainment purposes. I know you filed this under literature, but have I mentioned it reads like an un-funny comedy? Your characters face real problems that they choose to not deal with. THEY don't even think long and hard about the values of marriage and family. You need to go back to the drawing board with this story before you can sell it.


For the sake of trying to be helpful, I think the description (and I'm blogging, so this should be a terrible rewrite, too) should read more like...

As a wedding coordinator, Angela refuses to guarantee happily-ever-afters. She will get you the wedding day of your dreams, but the rest is out of her hands. When she discovers a letter from her husband's high school crush alluding to their secret reunion, though, Angela has to figure out how to make that happily-ever-after happen for herself.

Bev wants to be happy. But as the stresses mount from being a single mom to her teenage daughter and a full time caregiver to her vegetative mother, she needs more than positive thoughts to see her through the day.

It seems neither Angela nor Bev will get what she wants when Angela moves in. The sisters fight about everything. Whether Mama should be in a nursing home, how Angela should handle her marital problems, and how to deal with their teenage children. Can they resolve their differences before...

Yeah. That's about as far as I can get. Your story is lacking past the set up. Hence, this blog.