Chita, or One Minor Character, One Major Problem

"Mrs. Hauser, I want two weeks pay like always."
The voice belonged to Chita, the home care nurse who'd been watching over Angela's mother the past month. Mama had suffered a massive stroke that spring, and Chita became Doctor Robert's first choice for a nurse. Why she suddenly felt a need to discuss her weekly pay escaped Angela. She gave Chita a check every other Friday for two week's work.
"Of course I'll pay you for two weeks," Angela said. "Why wouldn't I?"
"I'm gone. You don't know this?"
"Gone? What do you mean?"
"You don't be talking to your sister?"
"Not today. No."
"She goned me."
"She what?"
"She goned me. You know. She makes me go."
"You mean, she fired you?"
"What?"
"She took away your job?"
"Yes. I tell you this. She goned me."
Angela could hardly believe she might be hearing correctly. ...

Where on Earth is Chita supposed to be from? I was so distracted by the choice of names that I never noticed until right now that we do know when Mama had her stroke: "that spring." Really?! The woman had her stroke just a few weeks ago? Because they don't act like it at all. With her "long white hair," I would have assumed she had the stroke five years ago. Angela wants to smother her with a pillow after only a few weeks? Bev fires Chita after only a few weeks? These are some crazy impatient women... But back to the ill-conceived Chita.

Is she a Gungan? She cannot possibly be Hispanic. She seems to have a mish-mash of "not Middle America" dialects. Which makes me think that, like Jar Jar Binks, she is a poorly conceived, more-horrifying-than-funny minor character who would cause anyone in her right mind to shut the book and throw it in the trash.

Jar Jar Binks, the goofy character from Episode I of the Star Wars saga, at least comes back to justify the need for him to be so stupid in Episode II. The idiocy of Chita never remotely serves a purpose. Bev could have just as easily fired a home nurse who spoke intelligently. The author could have learned what a "Spanish accent running full throttle" really sounds like. But, mainly, there are other ways to get Angela to show up on Bev's doorstep.

The above excerpt is almost her entire time in the novel—a short blip in a long story—but Chita's appearance is the kind of pothole that will rip off a wheel or a speed bump that will gut your car. The one person who really sounds moronic is the writer.