Hello, Author. We need to talk. Seriously. You've sent me the two versions of your synopsis for the latest book you are trying to inflict on the world. And they are terrible. (Yes, I will come back and post separately about the horror of a long, boring synopsis later.) But that's not the real problem. Your biggest problem is that you want an agent, but you've never been published. For countless years now you've toiled away on screenplays and novels, never giving a care to getting another poem or short story published. You couldn't blog to save your life (or sell your other novel). You haven't even written a letter to the editor in two decades. When was the last time you were published? (Not counting Lulu.) Agents and editors want to work with writers who've been published, just as writers want to work with agents and editors who've actually published books. You could have the greatest synopsis in the world, but these people want nothing to do with you because you have no record of playing nice with others.
So what do you now? It's really kind of late to start working on building up credentials, don't you think? There must be something else you could do with all this money you waste on postage. Surely there's another hobby that interests you?
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